Although we know that no couple can have assurances that their relationship is going to work, we all want it to last forever. However, break up with someone it is not a failure or a shame, and it does not say anything about you or your worth as a person. Here are some reasons to end a relationship:
So, if you dare to leave the relationship, how do you know if it’s a good decision? How do you know when there is no solution? Of course, each couple is different, but there are some pretty clear signs that a relationship should come to an end.
You’re not in love. It seems obvious, but some people still with their partner even though it is not love. Maybe they don’t know it yet, probably they don’t want to face it, or perhaps because the esteem they feel outweighs the lack of love.
How to realize if this is your case? It may be because you have reached a point where it bothers you when he/she speaks, you think that he/she just says nonsense, you have no desire to see or spend time with him/her, you don’t laugh with him/her as before, you do not want to kiss him/her or touch him/her, etc.
It’s not like you imagined. If your partner is not as loving, as fun or as generous as you thought when you met him/her, and today you’re still missing the image of him/her that you had assembled, perhaps you’re not with the person you want to be. You can tell because you live waiting for a change, and you spend the day reproaching this or thinking that you wish it was more than that.
Do you realize how difficult we do it sometimes? Would not it be much easier to find someone who is as we want (hey, no one is 100% what you want, but it sure will be closer) than strive to change the person we have next to us?
You don’t want the same. Whether in the immediate present or in the more distant future, your tastes and your life project have nothing to do. For example, you talk about the weekend and you agree. You think about the holidays and you want different things. You partner talks about his/her ideal future and it has nothing to do with yours. And lots of examples like these ones!
Long story short, you do not care about the same things, your values are almost the opposite and even have common hobbies. You are like day and night. And still you want to stay together?
You give more than you receive. You sacrifice for the other, you strive to do things that you like and you adapt to his/her life much more than he/she does to yours. From saying no to a plan with some friends, stop going to a party that you wanted very much to attend or even get away from a person he/she does not like.
And your partner, meanwhile, one day is the most loving man/woman on earth, and the next day is overwhelmed and needs a little more space. He/she makes plans without you or spend days without calling you, etc.
Do you think that is love? Well no, because we take care of what we really want, because when we are in love we call and because when you’re with someone you want to see that person all the time. And no, no exceptions.
The negative outweighs the positive. Most times you see you fight over things more than spend a good time, your relationship is like a roller coaster of love-hate.
Or maybe you do not like how he/she treats you, make you do things you do not want to do, is very jealous, does not trust you and judge you or criticizes you for how you are.
You can even have reached a point where you disrespect each other, lie, humiliates each other, insult, etc. In addition, he/she always want to be right, he/she never asks for forgiveness and you blame yourself for everything that is wrong. And although again and again he/she tells you that everything will change, at the end nothing changes.
A fairly common sign in these cases is that your friends tell you that you’ve changed a lot since you’re with him/her and think that you’re not that person. But you resist taking the step of quitting.
The balance of your relationship is clearly tilted to the downside and you end suffering most of the time. Do you identify with these examples? True love has nothing to do with dominance, possession or control.
You’re with him/her for fear of not being alone. The first thing that you should work on is that fear of being alone, because while you still have it, you will continue choosing the wrong person.
Learn to be alone is fundamental to know how to be a couple. Actually you have to know that you’ll never be entirely alone, it is impossible to have a complete solitude, we are always surrounded by people and, whatever happens, you have yourself. That is the key, to take advantage of this relative solitude learn to love, until it comes a time that being with someone will become a choice, not a necessity.
Whatever happens, remember that the other person can not assure your happiness, the only happiness is worth to have comes within yourself.